Worst Night of my Life

I'll start with the current weather in Manhattan per weather.com:
*33 degrees (feels like 26)
*Rain/ snow
*High winds

Next, the distance from my office on 43rd Street to my home (per mapquest):
3.6 miles

And finally, a reminder of the age of my dog:
4 months
(a puppy!)

So my dog and I just made that trip together. Did I mention that the streets are covered in slush and snow? Did I mention that I was wearing high heeled boots? Did I mention that my dog is a puppy and can't walk straight?

You're probably saying hey lady, why didn't you just get a taxi? Well, I'm glad you asked. I flagged down many a cab and as each one slowed when it saw my hand in the air, each one sped off very quickly when it saw the dog on the end of the leash in my other hand. I can't say that I would want to pick up a soaking wet dog and an angry looking lady either so I get it. I even offered one guy 40 bucks when he stopped to let someone out next to me. He was like fuck no. 40 dollars for a 5 minute ride? Let me repeat myself, he said, fuck. no.

Some of the highlights of our two hour journey:

MY UMBRELLA FLIPPING INSIDE OUT!
REMEMBERING THAT MY BOOTS COST $695 AS I STEPPED IN THE 14TH PUDDLE IN A ROW!
ZELDA JUMPING UP ON ME A THOUSAND TIMES BECAUSE SHE WAS SO WET AND COLD!
GETTING MY COMPUTER WET! IT COST MORE THAN MY BOOTS!
PULLING MY BACK OUT!
GETTING MAD AT THE DOG!
AND THEN FEELING BAD BECAUSE SHE'S ONLY A PUPPY AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT RUNNING AND STOPPING EVERY TWO FEET HURTS MOMMA'S NECK REALLY BAD!
WANTING TO KILL MY HUSBAND FOR LEAVING ME IN THIS SITUATION WHILE HE'S OFF SKIING IN VAIL!
COMPLETELY MISSING THE PLAY THAT I HAD TICKETS TO!
CRYING UNDER THE AWNINGS AT BLOOMINGDALE'S AS RICH LADIES STEPPED OVER ZELDA AND HAILED TAXIS SO EFFORTLESSLY!

Singing What a Wonderful World on repeat in my head and then singing it out loud once I was broken. I truly started talking out loud to myself like a psychotic bag lady and finally felt like I understood why they do that. It's quite cathartic. I hope you never get to that point, but if you do, try it out. It worked for me.