The Fattening

Audrey Griswold is back, but this time, she's being force fed by someone else: her husband, Tim. She came home late last night, not hungry, even though she didn't have dinner.  Because her husband firmly believes in dinner, he proceeded to take out a big old order of Indian food including her spinachy, cheesy favorite, palak paneer. Tim placed that delicious dish right down in front of her, and not being one to deny a good meal, hungry or not, she had a taste. And then another and then another. Now, she definitely would have stopped at this point because while slightly piggish, it was still at an acceptable point, especially for a gal who enjoys food. But then Tim proceeded to sit down right across from her, coaxing her to take another bite and then another, telling her that he wanted her to put on some weight. What girl doesn't want to believe that she actually needs to gain weight, especially when she is right in the midst of an abusive pig out session? I don't think I need to go into explicit detail here, because I think it's pretty clear what happened next. She ate and ate and ate as her husband coaxed her to go on until she felt like her eyeballs had turned dark green and she felt like she was going to vomit and pass out. And then the pain began. All night, she was tossing and turning while nightmarish visions of palak paneer danced in her head. 

I seriously almost just threw up writing that. I'm not sure what the significance of this story is or how it relates to farming, but I really wanted to let you know that it's not my fault, just in case you're wondering why I look like I put on 15 pounds since the last time you saw me. It's not my fault
it's not my fault
it's not my fault
it's not my fault