Praguetastic

Remember how I complained that logging into the blog in France was hard? Well, it was nothing compared to the Czech Republic. At least French uses the same alphabet. The only words I understood in this were "Google" and "Groups" and "Gmail."
Tímto procesem vytvoříte účet Google, který můžete používat také v dalších službách Google. Pokud již máte účet Google (např. ve službě Gmail, Google Groups nebo Orkut), nejprve se přihlaste

But obviously I figured it out. Eventually.

All this Czech pilsner is making me so bloated. I'm enormous. Move over, Audrey Griswold because Augustus Gloop is here.

Huge or not, I am absolutely thrilled to be here (unless anyone takes pictures and posts them on Facebook) as Prague is simply one of the most beautiful cities I've seen. Truly lovely. Getting here, however, had some interesting hurdles of its own. All of which I'm about to get into right now just like the woman in Pee Wee's Big Adventure got into explaining the Alamo....

So yeah, maybe I didn't give myself a lot of extra time to get to JFK but I got picked up at my usual time- two hours before departure. It's always calling it close but i absolutely cannot stand just waiting around at the airport. I actually believe you get through faster when you're late. CASE IN POINT- i was trying to print my boarding pass from the self-ticketing machine but my password wasn't working and I had to get help from this weird old attendant dude. Hey took my passport and fiddled with it for a good 15 minutes before proclaiming "you are not going to make your flight!" which of course induced 1) terror 2) butterflies 3) anxiety 4) sweating. I tried to play the "nice young clueless gal" card back and it actually worked and he pulled me to the front of the line and checked my bags for me, et cetera. AND THEN, terror moment, part 2. The other attendant dude was like "Who's Joanne?" and I was like, duh, it's me. And he was like "but this ticket is booked for Annie not Joanne" and I was like, duh, "it's a nickname." Let me just tell you, JFK security does not take kindly to nicknames especially if they are super crazy ones that require any sort of thought beyond Jen as nickname for Jennifer. I was interrogated by five different people, put into a clear glass tank where I was not only observed but made to feel like a terrorist then pulled to the side by a plainclothes officer who also interrogated me then proceeded to feel down, and not in a good way. This all would have been fine and super enjoyable had I not been running a bit late and told that I was going to miss my flight about 20 minutes prior to the shakedown. I came closer than you can imagine to just calling it quits and heading back to my apartment to sleep for three days rather than be frisked in the airport by some big ol lady, but I stood my ground and explained how "Anne" is a large part of the name "Joanne" and that "Annie" is a very common (and pretty obvi) nickname for "Anne". After more groping and patting of my bodily parts, I was finally let through and ran to Gate 27 where I found the biggest shitshow of all time. There must have been 70 people gathered around the information desk and oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my ticket had now been marked with a stamp that said "special request ticket" after all the drama. I was 100% positive that I was not going to be flying to Prague but in my state of defeat, decided that I had nothing to lose and walked right to the front of the line of people who were boarding and said to the dude "hi. I don't know what this stamp means but I have a feeling I don't have a seat." He merely looked at it and then handed me a crumpled ticket that I was sure had to be a fake and said "here you go, ma'am." I said "thanks?" and boarded the plane. Only as I was walking down the final tube tunnely thing before you actually get on the plane did I look at it and notice that I was in sit 5E. Row 5???! That has to be business class, doesn't it? no way. NO WAY. But lo and behold, it was! So I proceeded to order all the free champagne and wine that my little belly could tolerate and rolled my big old seat back with a smile. I woke up in Prague and the rest is history.
Now I am off to go have dinner with a bunch of people! Dumplings! Watch out, Aud