Home Alone 33

I think that part of why being married or living with someone else is healthier than not is because women do weird things when they are alone. My husband has been at the farm since last week and I had to stay in town to speak at this conference thingee in Tribeca. It's been fine since I’ve been keeping myself really busy with work and the gym. And then last night I went to a dinner and drank a little too much vino and then I guess I came home and started taking weird photos of myself? I found this one particularly strange:

It’s actually not strange at all when you know the genesis- I was wondering how bad my roots are and how much longer I can hold off on scheduling an appointment. My camera happened to be in the bathroom (I honestly can’t remember why) and so I took a shot. Then I proceeded to take hundreds of shots of myself in front of my full length mirror in order to figure out if my legs are really as fat as I think they are or if I am just being too hard on myself. Then I went to arms and did the Amy Adams pose to make them look thinner. My arms looked okay but my legs still keep me up at nights, wondering how I can fix them. Running doesn’t seem to help, Physique 57 makes them less flabby but there is nothing you can really do about fat knees. If there is, I haven’t found it yet. Am I resigned to these legs forever? Should I just accept it? Wow. These are the musings of a slightly hungover gal as she recounts her late night photo shoot/ intense critique. My basic point is that none of this would have happened if my husband was here. We would have come home, walked the dog, brushed our teeth, washed our faces, changed into our pj’s, and snuggled under the covers. Perhaps we would have gotten jiggy with it but that is about the extent of the craziness. As we’re married, I don’t even think that counts as craziness. All I know is Jim never would have partaken in some crazy 2 hour photo shoot of self-degradation. I wish he would come home so I could control my insanity. But like my plump knees, I think I have to accept that there are things about me that I cannot fix.