Before we had a dog, my husband used to grope me when I would walk past him- when I bent over, when I reached my arm up to grab a pan, when I got the trash out of the bin, when I brushed my teeth; really any moment of vulnerability in which I could not slap him away. Imagine my relief then when the puppy came in to our lives and added an additional element of confusion and G ratedness that I was certain would eliminate the groping game from my life once and for all. Then my husband invented a new game: Sniffer and Groper, Best Friends.
Sniffer and Groper, Best Friends entails the original groping mixed with the dog sniffing my crotch that the Groper not only encourages, but enjoys. Groper, as the one who can speak and therefore voice of the team, loves to talk about their hilarious new adventures every day. I find this very annoying especially in the morning when I am a) in a bad mood because Sniffer wakes me up at 6 am, which is 4 hours before I need to be at work and b) in a rush to get my clothes packed. I do not enjoy having a grown man with a soft dong hump my butt while a dog sniffs my crotch when I'm simply trying to get ready to go to the gym and be on my way. I do not enjoy this at all.
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